Let's get this outta da way - Yes, OT. Thank you for your concern - really, I appreciate it. I'm also still on the pill (although 1 of our children was conceived while I was) we still take every precaution we can.
Yeah - GH, someting about scrubbing a toilet brings things into perspective, huh? LOL
What? I can tell you what you already know. If you are wondering whether you should have slept with someone the answer is probably no. Quit telling him you won't have sex with him when you will. Quit telling yourself it is something that just happens and take ownership. It is ludicrous for SO to hold you accountable in any way for his lateness. He tells you not to feel uncomfortable so that he feels like a good guy. Even if you feel comfortable calling him, you are not his mommy. Take him on the trip to see niece if you want to....
Quote: I guess I'm at the point where I'm wondering what's left for me to do, without actually working on an R;
I'm there with you, NM. I've worked on myself, I've GAL, I've been applying DB principles. There isn't anything else to do -- so it's #%*@^ing time my W ended the A and comes back, right? I'm still working on that patience thing.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Quote: I'm there with you, NM. I've worked on myself, I've GAL, I've been applying DB principles. There isn't anything else to do -- so it's #%*@^ing time my W ended the A and comes back, right? I'm still working on that patience thing.
Amen brother! lol. Amen to ALL that, especially the last bit...
I've been thinking a lot since OT's ouchy post. LOL She's right - I KNOW this stuff. Little Toto came back for a scrap.
As a result, I will do my best to go dim, dimmer, dimmest. I actually started yesterday. He called in the evening, spoke with the kids, asked for me. Ended the convo with "I'll call you later after work and wake you up" (said laughingly) ...so I was laughing and then said "I'm not sure why you do that, you don't have to ya know." He said "I don't know why either." Later on he emailed me something silly & goodnite -I never answered. He did end up calling, and asked why I never emailed him back, that he "kept going online for my response and checking his phone for texts". WTH??? I said that I didn't realize it was something that required a response. He said "Well you could have sent something - I like to hear from you." Whatever, dude.
This morning I've tried to stay off the computer as much as possible to avoid IM's & emails. Today, I have some appointments so I will be leaving shortly after he arrives. Him & his friend will also be finishing up the work on his truck, so I intend to stay far away from him. LOL
I really am tired of being strung along. However, if I'm all honest and crap, I make it easier for him to do just that. Is all this communication between us a cheeseless tunnel? I have a hard time balancing distancing and coming across as plain old b!tchy. I haven't found the happy medium yet. It always seems to be one extreme or the other.
OK...gonna leave the philosophical posts to GH today. I'm tired.
Its not about what any of us feel you should do. It is about what you feel you should be doing at this point.
Your Ex is sending you mixed signals between words and actions. Have you sat down and talked to him at all about this? Where his head is at this point. Might be a good idea. Then decided what you should be doing going from there. Second guessing anothers actions usually gets us nowhere.
NM, I don't think that it would be out of line for you to remind him that if he wants your texts, love, etc., then he knows what he can do. It's not up to you to take care of his emotional needs right now, because he's decided to get his needs met elsewhere. As long as you say this in a loving way, then it's not b!tchy. B!tchy is not the opposite of distancing; it's the opposite of loving.
I also think that GAL helps here. IMO, you are still trying to meet to many of your needs through him (not that I don't have the same problem), and you need to find ways to meet more of your emotional needs in other ways.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Thank you for your concern - really, I appreciate it. I'm also still on the pill (although 1 of our children was conceived while I was) we still take every precaution we can. 
@OT 