Quote: What is so TERRIBLE about a babysitter? You are comfortable using childcare when you have the kids, but SO is an evil father for potentially doing so???
No - that's not my meaning. My getting a job also depends on him helping out. He would be responsible for picking up the kids on Mondays & Wednesdays, as fits his current schedule to cut the daycare costs and make it economically feasible for me to go back to work. I don't really want to go back to work - more for state of mind than anything else. Neither one of us want to put them being in daycare full-time. We also agree that it would be beneficial for D3 to be in a pre-school program, as opposed to daycare. But only part-time. He has always been cooperative and agreed to help me out with my choice of returning to work and anything needed to assist me in that area. During the week. Weekends are hell. Always have been.
We also agree that when we use a babysitter, that it's not until after the kids are asleep - even in the past when we went out together. Some of our parenting may not be the same as what other people think - but both of US usually agree on the same things. No full-time daycare, no sitters when possible - of course, this was when we were together. Now, it's a different ball of wax.
Quote: It is perfectly reasonable to think about how SO's job will affect childcare, and it would be irresponsible not to do so. But, why are you obsessing over whether you should accept his working or not? What are you going to do? He is an adult human being. Instead of trying to use your psychic abilities to determine how things might work out under various scenarios and then forcing the one you like best, why don't you seriously sit down and work with him on establishing a reliable schedule and setting some rules for it with respect to cancellation/alternative childcare/etc...
I guess because I AM THE ALTERNATIVE and he does not have a RELIABLE SCHEDULE!!! We have no one else. Parents/friends/family - too far away and have their own lives. I usually have to ask months in advance to get one of them to babysit. And right now, I don't know any teenage girls / babysitters in the area. The daycare lady only does it during the week, not weekends. I've been asking my D7's friends mothers who they use...I've gotten only one name so far.
And I guess it's also why I haven't said anything about this additional night. Because you're right, and I've also said it - it's his choice, not mine. I don't think I'm trying to force anything. I thought I was trying to look at all the possibilities and take everything into consideration before jumping the gun.
See - once upon a time, my 1st reaction would have been to flip out about it. Which I haven't done. I've been completely mute. Nor do I think telling him that too bad, you already told me you were taking the kids this weekend, you figure what to do with them - is a productive answer either.
