Quote: You know what OT does (and NYS used to do too) beyond give us good advice, at least for me? She makes me really take a look at my decisions and if I value them, am sure of them, really commit to them. She is like a wishy-washy filter. She does not allow us to short change ourselves by thinking we just have things happen to us. She forces us to take a stand for ourselves, even if it's first to her on the board (and in turn in real life) and in doing so, I think empowers us to make better, more reasoned decisions when all we seem to want to do is rashly react to every little thing that happens.
Yes, I agree GH. This whole thing with SO working another night...it has me seeing red. Until I calm down, I just don't even want to think about it and I certainly don't want to dissect the subject into little pieces about why, blah, blah, blah. Right now, and my mind may change later, but right now, if I even try to think about it - it just gets me going. Not especially productive. This is the choice SO made on his own. I don't control him, only myself. How I deal with it will matter the most. And I think that by choosing to think about this further, I am not playing the doormat. Now if I were to CONTINUE in this manner, then yes, I would be the doormat. However, I can't make him be a father. He thinks that by making money - he is being a good provider. So this is tricky. And it's exactly why I want to get ideas for solutions.
Quote: it occurred to me that I sometimes do the same thing you did by posting that "OT will get me for this".
I guess I said this because I think SO is being a jerk, IMO. I guess I don't know where the line is in being cooperative and "letting him get away with things", for lack of better words. He says it won't be this way every weekend. So, how long do I give him? These are questions I'm asking myself. I've asked him for a schedule. He gave me a tentative one and now it has changed already. His job is also unpredictable. He's got contractual obligations to the station - when they tell him that they've booked him for a remote 2 weeks from now - he's got no choice but to work it. So, do I say - tough [censored], that's the day you have the kids? Once again - I don't know the right thing, the wrong thing, the doormat thing, the cooperative thing, watch my kids go be with a sitter, or WTF to do. At least not yet, I don't.
