Take a deep breath sweetie. Are you doing it all wrong please tell me if there is a right way to deal with unwanted chaos in our lifes and if so what it is. Each situation is different as the individuals in the situation. I am just a outsider looking in not dealing with the emotional chaos you feel. Every person here feels differently even if the sitches are simular and I am definetly not one to judge your actions. You know the old adage people in glass houses should not throw stones. Even so I do not see anything you did as bad if you wanted or needed it for some reason.
It wouldn't work any other way with the kids schedules/ D7 getting home from school
Sounds logical. But you do not always need to be present unless you want to. Let him be responsible for the kids in his time with them. If you feel more comfortable with it being in your home fine just maybe you should make yourself scarce sometimes when he is there. Unavailable like he is when he is with the other woman.
Too much opportunity for OW to get involved I understand this. The thought of my H in another relationship does not rile me but the thought of my kids being involved within that relationship can set me off. They are mine and I want no one else to step into my shoes with them even for a minute.
Let him leave here - the comfortable, safe place he knows and go to that empty, dark apartment. Here is "home" - does that make sense
Yes
Am I wrong thinking that?
Not sure. My worry is that since he is still feeling the effects of the comfort of home he will over look how stark that apartment is for a long time. He has a taste of family life and singlehood all rolled up in one day. Pretty much a full course meal with all the trimmings.
I confused myself by doing it
Confused yourself by acting on your own needs. Though H started it you responded to it. Nothing confusing in that. I find the fact that he keeps coming to you as confusing to you since other woman is there to meet his needs and prior to his leaving he felt that was what he wanted. But now that does not seem to be satisfying him either. Again is this a signal that all is not well and he made a mistake or just a case of having his cake and eatting it to. How are you to define the intent of his actions. You can't you are just second guessing them I think that is what is confusing you.
I didn't feel used - yet I'm upset with myself.
Here is a bit of logic to your illogical thoughts.Or maybe vica versa
You did not feel used because you also got something from the encounter. Like a hug that was needed after a hard day. Emotionally you have been dealing with alot. You needed comfort simply put. Should you have allowed that form of emotional hug. Depends on how badly you needed it. Does not mean you will fall into a habit of it. Nor does it mean you were used anymore then you used him for what you needed at the time. Better then a stranger.
And you are upset because you are fighting your own emotions. It is not natural to fight what you feel but under the circumstances you need to. And for a few brief moments you stopped fighting and went with them. Now you feel dismay. And I presume a feeling of losing the battle. So one battle lost the war is still not lost though. Don't put to much emphasis on one action one day one feeling. Tomorrow you will choice other actions and it will be another day and who knows how you will feel.
Okay enough of my babble.
I'm upset with myself. Especially after reading your post, Chrissy. I succumbed
Hopefully I have been able to dispell some of your dismay at least the part that was brought upon you from my post.
We are human we react as humans with emotions or should do so. So please do not be so hard on yourself for doing just that.
