I'm upset with myself. Especially after reading your post, Chrissy. I succumbed. Gosh, what is wrong with me? Yesterday he called/emailed a few times. I've been noticing, he calls in the afternoons right when he wakes up. I've been noticing this a lot. I can hear the sleep still in his voice. So he'll call when he 1st wakes up; then calls again once he's gotten to his night gig. Compleytely off the subject - simply something I've noticed.
Tuesday night he called around 1 AM and I answered - I haven't been answering these late night calls lately, so I thought I would this time. We just chit-chatted for a few minutes. This morning, there was the usual emails, hinting at ML - I told him I didn't like the idea that the time he came here was contingent upon sex, told him I would leave and he could be here with the 2 little ones (who are napping from 12 to 3 anyway!). He did say that he would be here around 1 regardless of anything else and that he would bring lunch. I fell asleep on the couch waiting for him and when he got here, well, he laid on the couch next to me, woke me up nicely, and, well - one thing led to another.
Chrissy, to answer your question, he only moved out 3 weeks ago. So everything is still all new, I guess. He's a morning dj and works M - F, 5 AM to 11 AM, plus T, R, F NIGHTS and various weekends. The only nights he's off are Mondays & Wednesdays - so that's when he comes to see the kids after getting off the air from the morning. He comes here because where he works/lives is about an hour away. It wouldn't work any other way with the kids schedules/ D7 getting home from school. Besides - I don't want them at his place if I can help it. Too much opportunity for OW to get involved.
Also, and maybe I'm wrong - but if he gets too familiar with the kids coming to "his" place, that's kind of like taking away another "unknown". Getting too comfortable in his "new" life. Once again - my thinking may be way wrong. I want his apartment to be cold & stark - no kids, no me. Let him leave here - the comfortable, safe place he knows and go to that empty, dark apartment. Here is "home" - does that make sense? Am I wrong thinking that?
Anyway, back to today's activities. I confused myself by doing it. It wasn't expected or planned (who knows, maybe by him, but not me!), I didn't feel used - yet I'm upset with myself. I don't know what to make of my thoughts yet.
Sara - thanks. Haven't heard from the old job yet. Still getting apps from some local places as well. If I don't hear from the old place by Friday, I'll call them. And if it doesn't pan out, something else will.
Quick update - he just called and asked if I was mad because of what we did. Because I said we weren't going to anymore. I said I wasn't mad at him, if I was mad at anyone it would was myself.
