Yes RB, in our case, I really believe that this physical separation is for the best. He was young when we 1st got together (23), and hadn't really been on his own. I was 5 years older and had been out on my own since I was 17. I had experienced a bit more "life" than he had, including living alone, other R's; breakups ~ LIFE, as it were. I really think that makes a big difference in our maturity levels.
I'm just hypothesizing here, yet, there's times when he's literally blamed *me* for things - now, he's got no one to blame but himself. Now, he's experiencing what he's been fantasizing about. Real life. And everything that goes with it - good and bad. There's not much to blame on me these days. He's in control of his own life. And I'm in control of mine. Even I can see a big difference in myself since he's moved out. I've really been able to "let go".
When he was here, I constantly felt under the gun. It bothers me that it took him moving out to cause these changes, yet, we're not Romeo & Juliet. LOL I know we're not going to die from being apart. I'm hoping it brings us closer and helps us resolve the things that led to our problems.
The reality is - we had problems before OW. Sometimes I think about her - and I think about how it seems as though he's trying to substitute the "old" me with her. She looks similar to me, she's doing the things I was doing when we met (college, friends - the 20's lifestyle, lol); she's able to do the things that *WE* did when we first got together and before we had kids. Does that make sense? She's *ME* 10 years ago. I almost feel bad for the girl because she's got a high standard to follow - and she's not going to live up to my legacy! LMAO That sounded really vain, lmao.
Sara, I got the book from the library, but I must admit I didn't get to read it while I had it. I will have to get it again. I have a had hard time with his anger. I know it's not really directed at me, and I've been doing better with not taking it personally. Yet when facing it dead on, when he's right here in front of me, it gets hard.
So far today he's emailed me with "yesterday really sucked". In response I answered with "Good morning." He then emails "Good morning to you. Although I can't see what so good about it". My response, "...well lots of things are good about it. " Then from him: "oh yeah? Like what? Glad they are so good for you." Then me: "Well, any day that we wake up is usually a good one." He's been quiet since that.
See, he fishes, too. LOL Although I'm getting better with my detaching, I think.
" Then from him: "oh yeah? Like what? Glad they are so good for you." Then me: "Well, any day that we wake up is usually a good one." He's been quiet since that. 
