It's been too long and I just wanted to update on my sitch.
STBXH put our D papers on hold in April. I did not want him to come home before May, because I knew his apartment lease was expiring by the end of May, and I did not want that to be the reason. He still has a lot of debt, but sort of stopped talking about money. I let him pay his own taxes. All of these were things I needed to see.
Then we started to go see MC this month. We've had 4 sessions so far. I still do not have high hopes, as he still has this "as long as you change we'll be fine" attitude. For example we talked about how he lies to me all the time and I cannot live like that the rest of my life. His reponse was "it's not a big deal". So the therapist had to stop him and tell him that he cannot just dismiss things I value in my life just because he does not feel they are important. I am doing this MC so that even if we get D, we can have a good relationship to coparent our son. I do not have that much fear of getting D anymore and I feel calmer and stronger now. I am doing much better at work too, as I do not have to spend too much time thinking about him anymore, which gives me a great sense of power and independence. I have a lot of friends to hang out with, and I am happy.
