Thank you so much for your encouragement and support, Sam. I really feel that you know how I feel and how things went wrong between H and I, etc.
You are very right about our relationship. In fact, one of the MCs we tried told me that over time I have developed the mother role and H just followed my directions. And it is almost scary b/c my parents are just like yours. My mom has always been in charge, and my dad just listens. She complains a lot about him, b/c of course in her mind he cannot do anything "right". This annoyes me, and I feel very bad for my dad, and often tell my mom to ease on her nagging. But you know what?? I did exact the same to my H!
I always negotiated when we purchased cars and home, as I "planned and negotiated" better than H. I decided which daycare S3 goes to. I suggested H which jobs to apply. I "decided" that it's time for us to take vacation. I always picked the hotel, etc. I decided how much we can save each month. I started our retirement and S3's college funds, and I did all the research and investing. I always came up with plans for the weekends.
Yes, w/o realizing it, I was controlling his life. And for him, maybe it was easier to just follow me.
But I do not want to be like my mom, even though I love her so much and my parents are very close. I do not want to nag my H like my mom does.
My H just sent me an email:
"Instead of taking S3 out tonight why don’t we have dinner again like we did last time. I can get some noodles
What do you think H"
Tonight S3 has his Karate class so I won't be able to do dinner with H anyway. Should I just tell him that tonight won't work? Should I also send him the email about us? Like you suggested, I will probably not include the second part of my email. I may just simply suggest that we have dinner and talk in person.
Or should I just for now respond to him saying that we cannot have dinner tonight b/c of S3's class? This is not a lie, but why do I feel bad saying this???
