I have been making changes for me and I think she is starting to see that they are real.
You are right - I can not control my wife by making her uncomfortable. I guess I am having real trouble with the "letting go" - I still love her. She says she loves me - but she also loves the OM. She admits to being "confused". As I think about it - she may be having trouble "letting go" of what she has with the OM. I guess that is where I have to give her space - and just be the best person I can be. She recently told me "I can't give you what you need from me right now". Which I took as a good sign - that maybe she is trying to let go of him. So here I am trying to put myself in her shoes - it does make a little more sense looking at it from her perspective.
I have opened up alot more with her in the last few months. I wished I had been this way with her before - we could have maybe avoided all this mess.
My wife says relationships are defined by how you fight - not by the good times. I never thought of it that way before - and at least for her - it is true. She put a lot of emphisis on fights or non-fights we had in the past that she has never forgotten.
I am going to make a real effort to try to relax - and wait this out. Thanks for the encouragement - we really need it for this to work.
