WAW OM and Waiting?

[Tim297181]

Sorry to meet you here! It is always sad to welcome someone new to the board!

My question to you is have you really changed?

The reason I ask you this is not to be in your face but for you to do some real self evaluation. You really need to find out what YOU WANT to improve on yourself. You are already an amazing person because you have not run from a tough situation and you want to save your marriage! Dig deep and think about things in your life that got you to this point and think about ways you can improve.
Why i say this to you is from one of your statements.
I think it went like "Most of my changes and actions are to save my marriage." If I read between the lines it sounds like most of your actions are geared to pleasing your W.
I see so much of what I did in what you said in just one short post from you. I was seperated for over a year and I am in the throws of trying to recouncil a second time. The difference this time and why I feel stronger is I stopped doing things JUST FOR MY W! Once my actions became self centered I became stronger. don't get me wrong I did not shut my W out or stopped doing things for her. I did alot for my W, but I did it because I wanted to. I stopped looking for the emmotional pay off from my W for my actions. I became comfortable with recounciliation or D. As soon as this started my W started to come apart and now she wants to try and save our M again. I still have a long journey.

My point through all my ramblings is you need to get stronger for yourself! Your actions need to be directed to you and no one else! I agree I never liked "Acting as if". Once I stopped acting and started being the person I wanted to be my R began to improve!
Good luck and keep posting!