Ok, so other than the lackanookie and his mannerisms....there's no indication that the man is gay? He's probably not. I certainly do understand your thinking of that possibility though; I think EVERY woman who finds her self in an R where there's little to no sex thinks that is a possibility.....I know I certainly thought it was possible with my H as well.
There could be a plethora of other issues going on inside him that are preventing him from being "intimate" with you in many ways VLM.
I noticed that you asked him if he wanted to get intimate...and he agreed....yet neither of you did anything about it? Let me repeat that, neither of you did anything about it. What stopped you from following through when he agreed? You asked, he agreed....the door was open.
I completely understand all the crap that comes along with being a woman having to initiate constantly....BEEEELIEVE me I do. BUT, you two can talk things til you are blue in the face, until one of you phsically takes action....nothing will change.
Not lambasting ya here....so I hope you don't take my comments that way. I just know, having dealt with my own H that if you simply ask if he wants to have sex....and then wait on him to make the next move.....you will keep waiting. ONE of you has to break the inertia.
I know it's been almost a year since I've had a chance to be back on this board and respond to this issue, and I have to put out an update, but I know the problem with my initiating things with him is rejection. He'll either fall asleep or pretend he's asleep or not respond to my advances at all. Oy vey........... It has gotten slightly better, but not good enough, over the past year. I'm still highly frustrated and nothing is really resolved.
I'll create a new thread when I have more time as a recap of the year.
Slight recap: Hubby and I still are pretty much in the same spot. Things got slightly better after I broke down and told him earlier this year I was ready to leave him if things didn't get better. He finally went to a urologist, got a clean bill of health, got samples of a drug for his ED and last month was the ony month where we had sex once a week for two or three consecutive weeks in a row. He also got his testosterone level checked, which is normal.
However, it's been almost about a month since we have had sex. We did go out of town the last week in June, but we didn't have sex at anytime then because we had a friend join us until the wee hours of the night everyday we were there. (I hadn't seen this friend in 15 years, and we only had four days to reconnect in person, but I realize that that's not much of an excuse either).
Last Saturday night, we went to a concert and stayed out close to 3 a.m. Early Sunday morning, I tried to initiate, but nothing happened. I slipped him an article a while back trying to encourage him that even if he didn't feel like having sex, if his partner did, he should oblige. He mentioned that, but we never ended up having sex anyway because he said he was too tired. *sigh*
I may set up an appt. w/a DivorceBusting coach, as this up and down thing is getting to be too much. I am tired of rejection and excuses. If the DB consultation doesn't work, then H and I might as well move on.
