Quote: You had an aggressive man in bed who could give you multiple O's yet you did not want to have sex with him.
Well, frankly (and I'm trying not to brag here) pretty much any man can give me multiple Os. I'm just a little different from most women (or so I gather), so that it really doesn't take that much.
So far as being "agressive." Well, yeah, he was "agressive" in the sense that he made it clear that he wanted sex. However, when we were actually having sex, he would just lie there and expect me to do all the work. And he bragged that he had learned how to delay his own O for hours. Which may have been great for him, but wasn't really of much value to me. Quite the opposite.
Quote: I know you said he thought he was the world's greatest lover and that was a turn-off. What about the rest? Was he good to you?
Well, see my comments above. He had a terrible temper and couldn't hold down a job, which left me pretty much the financial provider (a role I did not like.
But my main issue was the way he treated my son, especially vis a vis his own kids. That to me is a non-negotiable issue. I didn't expect him to *love* my son the way he loved his own kids. (though I loved his kids and was very sorry to lose them). But the way F treated my son was totally unacceptable (yelling at him, mocking him, belittling him, calling him a "homo" or a "fag"). I know that it all stemmed from a fear that F would "lose" his own kids to his ex-wife and a kind of jealousy that my kid did well in school, was polite, didn't act out or mouth off (unlike his kids). But still, it was something I couldn't put up with.
Quote: Who ended the engagement and why?
Me. See above.
Quote: You admit to most of your previous R not being healthy. Was there sexual attraction in most of them though? Why not with this guy?
It's true, while I've never been invovled in a R where I didn't feel sexual attraction, in my relationship with F, the attraction wore off pretty quickly.
Quote: I may be totally off the mark here but maybe he had a healthy view of R and sex and you were used to your Ex's ways of relating. Dysfunctional ways of relating.
I think this is about half right. F had a pretty healthy view of relationships in general and (except for the kid thing and the job thing) we got along pretty well.
But his view of sex was -- in my view -- seriously messed up (or at least not compatible with mine). No matter how I tried to explain it to him, he just refused to do the things that would have made the sex more rewarding for me, saying that it (whatever it is that I wanted) just didn't do it for him.
I think the fact that he was getting what he wanted out of sex was good enough for him. And he just didn't care what I wanted sexually.
Basically (despite the multiple Os -- which as I've explained -- are not really a big deal for me) he was completely selfish in bed.
