Quote: I understand that my H feels unloved and undesired but the truth is I don't desire him in a sexual way. This does not mean I do not love him.
It does to him.
Quote: I feel that the only reason I need to have sex now is to keep my husband happy and that in itself is not a good enough reason put my own self worth on the line.
I see this as faulty reasoning. Michelle wrote:
"But I’m just not in the mood
If you have little or no appetite for sex, you might be thinking, “This my spouse’s problem. Why should I put energy into our sexual relationship if I don’t really desire sex?” There are lots of good reasons. Let’s talk turkey.
I mentioned before that I’ve been a marriage therapist for a very long time and I can tell you without hesitation that if you continue to look at the differences in your levels of sexual desire as your spouse’s problem rather than as a couple’s problem, you are courting disaster. "
I don't know if you've read her book, "The Sex Starved Marriage." Here is the first chapter. I would strongly suggest that you do so.
Quote:
I have done it in the past and it caused more problems than it fixed. I want to be able to be a willing participant and I am working on it. Things take time to fall to pieces and they take time to put back together. Trouble is they can't be forced into place either.
So, tell me what you are doing and how often are you doing it to work on this issue?
