Quote:

You have to realize.........(I cant bear to think of someone rereading this )................, to make their world right



Cemar





I wanted to rip my eyes out and scrub my brain after reading that above quoted post by you!!. Its so full of poison. Poison for you.

I dont even care if YOU in particular read this response. But I cant let this spread. Your apparently unbending will would be awesome, if it was focused in the right direction. I would almost feel bad for your wife, because she is mirroring you, but her unbending will and likewise self destroying determination, is simply both of you reaping what you sow.
You talk of christianity occasionally. Do you think this is the kind of R God wants you to lead your W to as the head of the household?

Do you know that what you think, write, say, read, believe, focus on becomes your truth? even if its not the truth?

Jesus said in Matt 17:20 "if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will tell this mountain,'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you."


Do you have so little faith in yourself, that you need your wife to go first?

Stop reading books intended to teach women how to be more attractive and wanting/coveting that. Read Schnarch, David deida and that Rabbi guy,....forgot his name.... schmuley?

Go take a anger management course, and or get a self esteem counselor. Lets pretend your W is NOT going to change. Well your not leaving, for whatever reason, so go and explore you.


Lack of sex makes men behave badly
NO it doesnt. Not dealing with the stress and unhappiness that it causes them, not being proactive about their own life, by making decisions and choices and letting somone else control their life (victim --not really its yoru choice. your a grown man) because of inaction is the problem.

he must bundle his emotions inside until he explodes

NO. he doesnt. He has many choices. Choices that he rationalizes against. Choices that he is afraid of. Choices that may cause pain, and require growth and change.

Men have the need to PLEASE their women, and by pleasing their women, seeking their admiration

Ugh. I want to vomit. <glug glug some antidote.>
NO.
Men have a need to take care of themselves. To Have superstrong boundarys. To Give to himself, untill his wellbeing runs over and he has enough to give to others without sacrificing his own needs. Women see that and gravitate to him, because she knows, if he can take care of himself, he will have enough and be strong enough to take care of her (security) also. (Cliffnotes/BFnotes version ) If he puts her first, before his own needs, how will he take care of her when she NEEDs him. The bible does not say, treat her better, put her first. Its says treat her as you would yourself. Do you beg, paw and plead with yourself?

Did you actually say ---seeking her (fill in the blank) after everything that has been discussed around here about supplicating? <shudder scrub scrub scrub.>

Remember, women want sex when everything is going right in their lives.

This is as ridiculous as the myth that women dont fantasize about their male friends and men do about all of their female friends. If rosie odonnel was one of my friends I would NEVER fantasize about her. . Id rather be a eunuch. actually I think just writing the words rosie and fantasize has made me impotent.

back on topic. When a woman wants to be sexual with a man, desires him, she will wipe the proverbial mat with him sexually speaking. to put it indelicately she will F him raw and senseless. They are way more sexual then men when the connection is made between their emotions and ML.

This leaves them at great risk for affairs, since they are looking for someone to GROUND them again, to make their world right. If your worlds not right, you should be figuring out how to ground yourself.

x and I's sex life waxed and waned a bit, but I almost F'd another woman during a period of time when we were having sex 5 or more times a week. How do you explain that? My x started her EA during a time when we were having sex 7 or more times a week. She was initiating most of the time. How do you explain that?
You will never have a good sexual relationship with a woman, if you need her to ground you. To me that sounds like you want her to be head of the house.