As a man who has been in your husband's position and had the same kind of reaction (anger, resentment), I would urge you to keep something in mind. When a wife loses her libido, a husband's first reaction is often to assume that the wife is purposely withholding sex. When she says, "I just don't feel like it," his reaction often is to view that as a choice on her part rather than a fact of life. If she then says, even as a joke, "I might be more in the mood if you cleaned the toilet sometimes," it only confirms his suspicion that her claim of low libido is really an attempt to manipulate him or make him "earn" sex.
I think husbands react this way in part because they simply don't believe that person can simply lose his/her sex drive (never having experienced that feeling themselves), and in part because the idea of living in a sexless marriage is just too hard to bear.
I wholeheartedly agree that no one should have sex that he/she does not want to have. (Even if you forced yourself, I doubt your husband would enjoy it that much.) But at the same time, keep in mind how painful, hurtful, and rejecting it can be to feel that you sexually desire someone who does not desire you -- someone who finds your very touch intrusive and annoying. In short, even though you are perfectly entitled to see yourself as the victim, you might nevertheless want to show your husband some compassion and understanding. It might not increase your libido or lower his, but it could go a long way towards improving your relaitonship!
