Hi Morgaine100 and welcome to the SSM board. Yes, I'm still here and still muddling through life. I read your thread and thought the same thing about us having similar circumstances.
You are right about the mental stuff, that is the hardest to get past, but by coming here you are on the right track!
It can't come quickly enough
And now you've spent your life
Waiting for this moment
And when you finally saw it come
It passed you by and left you so defeated.
Scissor Sisters - 'It Can't Come Quickly Enough'