You both need to practice the simple concept of mirroring. When he tells you something repeat it back to him and say, “Did I get that right?” He can either say yes, or make his statement again. You do the same drill until he agrees with what you have mirrored. Then you say “I guess that must make you feel ____” and insert your best guess for what he is feeling based on his statement. He can then add his own descriptive if he likes. Then you say “ I understand that” or “That makes sense to me” (whether it does or not). Of course you need to get him to do the same to you when you are trying to tell him something.
This will teach both of you to truly listen to each other and understand why you say what you do and how you feel about it. It will help to develop feelings of empathy too.
