Now, the resentment and anger has dissipated somewhat, but I am having a lot of trouble with the sex part
In what way do you feel your resentment and anger has dissipted? Your post are all about anger and resentment not only for your H but for yourself IMO.
The first thing you are really going to have to grasp is that it is not about sex with your H it is about the EC he is trying to create through sex. It took me a long time to wrap my mind around that fact. And a lot of rollerpin passing from Gel and Hp and Lillie to whap me upside the head to open my eyes to what they were saying.
I can so relate to your stating if your H is bellowing at your self and the kids how is that suppose to turn you on. It builds up your frustration and resentment source and you resist even harder. Which in turns builds up his frustration and resentment source and makes him act out even more. BTDT what a cheesless tunnel to run circles in. I use to allow sex to take the edge off in the household when this dynamic would become overwhelming.
This really is not a problem in my household anymore. Though I myself do not get butt loads of EC from our sexual encounters since I have came to the realization that sex is more about EC to my H then it is about the big O. And really allowed myself to see and understand that from his point of view it is easier to meet his needs to some degree. Hence he feels less resentment/frustration causing fewer bear days which causes me less resentment/frustration.
I am sorry you feel a need to bash yourself over the way you feel about the situation. As long as you feel so negative about yourself it is going to be hard to work your way through the resentment and frustration.
