hp, I'm so sorry about your dad. What Mojo says is very true. The hurt of missing them is soooo awful in the beginning-- I likened it to having something stuck to you that's on fire. Now that it's been 5+ years since my husband died, I feel him with me a lot. I know he is still with me and watching over me, and now he's completely whole and healthy. It will be a while before you get to that point, but you will eventually.
{{{{{{{HP}}}}}}}} Sorry about your loss. Sounds like things are going well. I know you will get through this with flying colors. Take it a day at a time.
Scott
"Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Rule #19 Ferengi "Rules of Acquistition"
Hugs to you HP on this difficult time...yet a time of transition( and adventure) as well, as you move forward to your new house. I am sure you will find ways to keep dad home with you.
Happy to hear that H is giving you the comfort you need.
So, I was thinking about my last post, the attempted hijack over at Jenny's place, and realized this: When I met H, I was extremely sexually aggressive. He loved it. Thought I was his dream girl. Now I am attempting to change the rules. Heretofore, I've been focused on *his* changes (Marine turned altar boy) and how ripped off I feel. But here I am trying to rewrite the rules, halfway into the game. Now I want him to come after me, in a way that he never really did. I mean, he was definitely sexually aggressive when we first met, but not more than me.
Why was I ok with being the aggressor then but not now?
I suppose it has to do with his response. He was VERY enthusiastic so it was encouraging...I wanted to continue the behavior because there were good results, for both of us. Also, his sexual response wasn't *dependent* on my assertiveness in the way it is now. He has flat out told me that unless and until I show desire, he will not do the same. So I get to "go first" always and forever. It is becoming harder and harder for me to do this, when my memory bank of Good Sexy Times is becoming more and more in the distant past.
Oh, I'm sure I'm exaggerating to an extent because I'm hormonal as Hairy puts it. (actually I do not have the wild ups and downs that most women have, due to my reproductive whackiness but that's neither here nor there)
He has been giving out these ridiculously tentative signs of desire and then yankin em back, as soon as he senses that I'm not going to take over. This used to make me mad, now I just don't care. I see it, it is duly noted, and then I move on. I cannot be bothered to take over, any longer.
At least until we start ML again and I morph back into my eternally optimistic self.
Hey at least I realize what's behind these mood swings.
Go have a yummy snack, don't take it out on hubby. Lol. I'm having a hard time with all of these chocolate bunnies taunting me. "Eat me" they keep saying. Just got back from the gym though and don't want to undo all my efforts. Guess I'll go eat something half-way decent. A big salad with some chicken maybe. Well, have a good night!
Not to hijack, but I know the feeling LFL and HP. I did a nice workout today, then ruined it by going to a Chinese buffet for dinner (just one more egg roll). Ugh!!!
Resist the bunnies LFL. Let them live. They don't deserve to die. Just convince yourself that it is an animal rights thing. LOL
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
When do you stop playing Easter Bunny? My kids made it pretty clear that they expected it this year though they are 17 and almost 15. I had a hilarious convo with my 6'2" deep-voiced son in which he was willing to state that he still believed in the bunny in order to continue getting his free sugar fix. Luckily, I've convinced myself that I only like expensive dark chocolate so I was easily able to resist temptation .
HP- Let us compare and contrast our situations. You are a sexual lioness but you also have an antelope side. Your H used to have a lion side but now he is just an antelope, at least in terms of initiation. Like you, I also have my lioness and antelope sexual natures. My sich is that my H used to mostly act like an antelope but now he is acting more like a lion (for which I am grateful) but he is only able to act like a lion if I act like an antelope. It doesn't seem like we can be lions together. Thus, the obvious though difficult solution to our problem would be for two of us to change our gender identities because you and I would make an ideal sexual couple and so would our husbands .
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
