I am debating if I should change my attorneys, but it's a big decision. The reason I am considering this is b/c some of the comments my current atty made (e.g., your husband just left you, but not your child, why would STBXH want to do that, he is a father, you should let him see your son more often, because I am a divorced father myself and I never felt that the standard visitation was enough, etc.) made me feel uncomfortable. He is divorced himself, and sometimes I felt that he is very biased.
The new lawyer I met was nice, but all the attys act "nice" when you first meet, right? And there will definitely more costs involved by changing attys... is it worth it? I am not sure.
I am not saying that my current lawyer is not capable of doing his job, it's just that I feel sometimes that he is "mad" at divorcing women b/c of his own experience. I could be wrong, but he often expresses his own feelings about D. Also he has some "attitude" problem - that is another thing. But do you think these are not good enough reasons to change my attnys?
Has anyone changed his/her lawyers in the middle of the D process? What is the deciding factor, and are you happy with your decision?
I think the right thing to do is to talk to my current L first, regardless of what I end up deciding.
But after I tell him what I am not comfortable with, what am I supposed to say? "so, I am changing the L?" Or "do you think you can address these issues?" Or "can I speak to your boss to see if he can assign me a different L?"
Also, I am doing my financial disclosure statement right now. If I am going to change L, I want to give it to the new one instead of giving to current one and end up forwarding it to the new one, which would cost more. So say I tell my L what I am not happy with, and then suppose L says he would change that, but I do not think I can really offer him a chance to "improve" his behaviors, b/s I haven't even filed the disclosure statement and there is nothing else going on other than that.
I hope you get your question answered. I don't have any good advice because my situation is not this far along. There are no lawyers involved yet. If it were me, I would talk to the present lawyer and let him know how you feel and go from there. You are the one who has to feel comfortable.
Several of my friends feel that since I spend so much money, I should feel "comfortable" with my A. And D is a big deal, so I should take it seriously, even if it ends up costing me a little more. I am aware that if I change A, it will cost me more, since they have to transfer files, etc. I guess that is why I am debating whether it is going to be worth changing attorneys...
My friend feels that my current A's attitude is what it is, that is how he feels about D, so I cannot change that. And he does not think there is a point of me talking to A. He rather feels that I should either (1) talk to his boss to see if he has someone else in his firm who can work on my case so that I do not have to change the law firm, or (2) just change to the new one I felt comfortable with.
What do you think? How do you know if he/she is a good A?
Considering it is a lot of money, make sure you are comfortable with your lawyer and also make sure he is going to get you everything you want and deserve.
I need help! STBX just called this morning from his work and said he wants to give us another try. But he ASSUMES I am open to that idea. He did say "...if you are okay with that", but I know he knows that I will always consider this option.
He did say that it would take a lot of work and he said "and I know, most of that is me, Hoping, I know that", but he said he wants to give us another try "for the sake of S3...., and for you". ??? He did not say that he realized that he loved me or anything. Is it dangerous to get back together like this? Please advice!
A little background... S3 and I came back from the ski trip yesterday. While we were up there at the ski resort, my cell phone did not work (no signals), but apparently STBX called three times during our trip. I think he wanted to be the one who takes S3 to his first ski trip, and must have missed him so much.
Anyway, soon as we entered the house, the house phone rang, and it was STBX. He said "I called you several times...", so I said "my cell phone did not work up there". He asked how the trip was, so I said it was fun. Then I asked him how his weekend was, and he just said "it was okay", in his depressing voice.
Then he was supposed to bring the dog back home (I asked him to take care of our dog while we were gone), and he said "Hoping...., I have a pasta sauce I made...., can I bring it over and have dinner there? Do you have pasta and parmesan cheese?" I was surprised by his request, but pretended I was affected by his statement, and simply said "sure, that's fine, I have pasta and cheese".
He came over, kissed S3 all over saying he missed him. Then he saw the roses I received from a guy for Valentines day (they are still beautiful and I had them on the table), and said "these are nice flowers, Hoping. Who gave you them?" So I said "my friend". He asked "your boyfriend?" I said "no".
Then he said "nice box", looking at a chocolate box and asked if I received it for valentine's day. It was actually from my girl friend for Christmas (I am not a big chocolate eater, so there are still some left in the box...), so I said "they are actually from Christmas".
Then he complimented some of the pictures I had on my console (I used to have a lot of our family pictures, but I took them all out and replaced with S3 and my pictures). "What a nice picture of S3 and Mama".
So the whole time I was wondering what he is up to. But I did not want to have any kind of expectations nor hope, so just kept unpacking.
When S3 asked STBX "Papa, are you going to stay now with us?", he got emotional and "oh wow....", then when S3 wanted to hold both STBX and me, to my surprise, he almost wanted to hold both of us.
S3 did not want STBX to leave, which made him feel uncomfortable, I could tell, but I told him to make the scene "light", so that S3 will not get too emotional, and STBX said okay, and left.
He called here at home (I took a day off today) in the morning but we were still in bed. Then he called me on my cell to tell me what he said.
How should I handle this? I do not want to repeat the same thing - that would hurt me and S3 so much and I never want to see S3 get hurt ever again.
STBX does not sound too convincing (he might be just getting emotional right now??), and I do not want to raise my hope too high either.
