Quote: I don't see this as "why hasn't he left".....I do see this as why haven't you...just as Lil asked. To me...turning it around to why he hasn't left is avoiding answering the question.
Okay, I know this might just seem like a difference in semantics but my answer would be I wouldn't leave but I would let him go or even help him leave. I guess the difference in my mind is that if I am thinking "You haven't had sex with me in 6 monthes so I am leaving you!" I would be feeling angry. If I am feeling angry when a relationship ends then this is IMO a reflection of the extent to which I am not differentiated or had an unhealthy dependency on the relationship. I mean I think it is true that you tend to end up married to someone who is at your same level of differentiation, but it is possible for a short period of time to be married to someone and be at a higher level of differentiation. For instance, when you say in a friendly way "Clearly, this isn't working. We haven't had sex in 6 monthes. Would you like me to help you find an apartment?".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
