Quote: Tell me if I'm getting this correct: You realized that your initiating sex a lot and seeking evidence that your H is/was LD was counterproductive, i.e., wasn't getting you any more sex and was putting both of you in a bad mood. So you convinced yourself that not having as much sex as you used to want is okay. You wait for your H to initiate, and he does often enough that you're content with the sitch. Is this right?
Geesh, why do you have to be so literal? Just kiddin'.
Most (all?) of the couples on the BB who feel like they have successfully resolved this issue have come to some sort of agreement with their spouse on the issue. The agreement that my H and I have come to is that I don't initiate sex and he will make an effort to initiate on a regular basis. At first, I wasn't thrilled with this arrangement because my role was so passive but then I realized that actually I did have an active role in the arrangement because my H's efforts were in response to my basic stand on the issue which is "If we don't have sex on a regular basis, I will probably hang out for a few years and be friendly until the kids leave home but there is a good chance that I will leave at that point.". Since he sees my attempts at initiation as a form of nagging about something that he clearly understands it is counter-productive. If I were to be in a mindset where I was able to sort of spontaneously initiate sex without any feeling that I was doing it because he wasn't initiating enough then I would initiate sex. However, I believe that this sort of initiation of sex is pretty much the same thing as two people simultaneously initiating sex so I don't know if it will ever happen.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
