Quote: When I discovered the extent of my H's porn usage, I was at a stage where I was trying to be accepting of his LD because I thought it was due to his tendency towards depression. Therefore, when the porn issue hit the fan, I felt somewhat deceived, but also very ripped off.
It's truly a non-issue for me now. I assume that he looks at it sometimes since most men do but I refuse to consider it as competition or a replacement for sex with me.
I'm still completely fascinated by (and somewhat noncomprehending of) your attitude change.
Tell me if I'm getting this correct: You realized that your initiating sex a lot and seeking evidence that your H is/was LD was counterproductive, i.e., wasn't getting you any more sex and was putting both of you in a bad mood. So you convinced yourself that not having as much sex as you used to want is okay. You wait for your H to initiate, and he does often enough that you're content with the sitch. Is this right?
Please explain this part
Quote: Since my premise is that there is no good reason not to have an active sex life, I don't care how bad the bad reason is any more.
On the surface it sounds like this means you don't accept his lame excuses for not wanting sex any more (i.e., just saw a sad commercial on tv, so not in the mood), but if you're not ever initiating, when do you still encounter "bad reasons" any more. Presumably you would only encounter excuses if you were initiating and he was turning you down.
I don't know what's happened to me. I seem to have become stupider and more literal-minded in your absence.
I guess my bottom line question is should I apply your method to my sitch, to wit, should I just accept the idea that my bf will never have an E (and thus will not experience himself as aroused and wanting sex), and get okay with that? I realize that that is an option, but thinking about doing it makes me sooooo furious. Did you go through a period of anger before you got to acceptance?
