I seem to remember now that our storys were a like.
Like you I also have felt that this would be easier if I did not love my H at all. But it goes a little past that also and may have been some of your reasoning earlier on
I could cut my losses and move on as the kids are just about grown
My boys are 15 13 11 yes nearly grown in some ways so far to go in others. And cutting my losses entails incurring other loses I am not willing to take.
My boys are southern born and raised. Every thing they know and everyone they love is here. I am a northern born and raised other then my boys and my husband I have no one here. No support at all. No reason to stay here. Going back to Ohio for good is out of the question until they are older. It is very ingrained in me that mothers do not leave there children nor do I want to. And taking my kids to Ohio is out of the question since there father is here. So another dilemia I cannot change at this point so I stay for them and to be with them regaurdless of how much the cost to myself.
She just isn't as affectionate, as sexual This would be on my list of complaints my H has about me
or as philosophically and emotionally deep as I would like. This would be on my list of complaints about my H.
Neither one of us were these things when we meet. We may have seemed this way due to beer induced vision and behavor at the time. Sadly it is not just about what I am doing without that makes me so sad at times it is about what both of us are doing without that makes me feel so desperate.
Trying to reconcile these conflicting feelings and needs is starting to wear me out.
I think this is where I have been over the course of the last few years. I start to look for ways to make it better then get so frustrated that I resign myself to it just is what it is. Then one day I wake up and the cycle starts over again. Some of that circular illogic chasing your tail mind frame.
