I think the thing many of us battle with in our R's is that with truly accepting the R (or your H) as is comes the feeling too that your are giving up on something you want.
But I think, and this is just my personal opinion here....that sometimes we just have to let go of our expectations in order for our R's to really blossom into something great. Our current R may never have some of the qualities some of our past R's have had....but it could also be much better than those other R's in many ways. So often what we harbor in our minds from the past becomes romanticized and built up into something it never was to begin with....especially when we dwell on it.
