Hey Chrissy. Know you're dealing with a lot of inner questions and getting good feedback from OP.
Hang in there. Just wanted to clip a little something:
but the problem is I want my H to be the one to be able to make me feel not alone. Odds are not in favor of that ever happening.
Too much responsibility for him to impose upon him like that. And I don't see how this is anything but impossible for you to verbalize this to him.
"I want you to help me feel like I'm not alone." Yeah. Doesn't work, huh?
Plus, you've unwittingly created an infinite loop conundrum. You want him to make you "feel" something (an impossibility in and of itself) yet the last line...you've already convicted him and sent him to the gallows for not being able to ever do that for you before he has even had a chance to go about starting that impossible task.
Circular illogic.
And your mind set is already skewed negative, feeding resentment, the ultimate attraction killer.
Maybe if you try and start forcing yourself to think about what's "right" about your H and go back to the day you met him as he was changing etc? How you never felt alone around him back then? Try and see if you can pick out those moments of "unaloneness" around him and recreate them.
Think positive girl
-Stigmata-
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
