Honey... I know when I am fed up in the marriage, I tend to see things in black and white...remember things are not all bad, and you are just one interaction away from things being on a better track. You say that you are under a lot of stress ( and who wouldn't be with 3 little ones at home...that alone would do me in). Personally, I think you need to be " given to" by your H...you really need him to initiate something giving without your pointing the way. Now the bath episode was nice, but it came after a convo of prompting him, which just isn't the same. Telling him to shut the tv off and spend some energy with you will have the same effect. Right now I feel you just can't guide him...too much resentment up that tunnel. Sometimes you just have to wait it out. Fill him in on the stresses you are under...let him know emotionally where you are at. Share your feelings, yet suggest nothing. And take really good care of you. Let's see when and what he comes up with ( we will give him credit for any itsy-bitsy thing, as long as it involves something for you personally).
