Nice post Fran. I know H and I were building on the Friend aspect of the M more than anything else and that was not truly successful. Might have worked better if the kids didn't come along. Darn those kids! They mess up everything The reality is that history will always be mom, dad, and the kids. Someone needs to take on the role as a main caregiver, someone else main breadwinner. It is very difficult to split that up equally although many couples try. The road to self-actualization is put on hold for a while. Probably why many die-hard feminists choose not to have children. But, kids or no kids, couples will struggle with the EC over time because it is human nature to lose some of that attraction to your life partner. And therefore, sex will usually become a problem as well. How much misery would there really be if no-one actually knew what a so-called *normal* sex-life was? How much misery would there be if women expected to stay at home, raise their kids, have a life in the community (relating emotionally to their kids and their close friends) and men expected to go out and earn a living, do their hobbies (relating emotionally to their buddies) Oh, there would still be misery. We just wouldn't be attempting to make the SL with our S so much better. Who is wrong here? The people who try to fight the natural progression of marital relations or the people who expect M and the SL that goes along with it to never be truly "fulfilling?" Guess it goes back to your expectations. Maybe those people who give up having a great sex life end up happier in the end. I have a hard time accepting that because I feel like a life without intimacy/ec/passion is something I will regret later in life. Am I setting myself up for disappointment if I stay with H. It's a Catch-22. Either I give in to not having a truly fulfilling SL and regret it, or fight to keep making it better and being continually disappointed, let down, frustrated that it is not what I had hoped for. I'm screwed either way. And not literally
