Hmmm... HP, I'm gonna take a stab at some of this, but I'll say right up front that I may be all wet, so feel free to ignore any or all of this. I've been out of the loop for a while, and no doubt have missed some important points. But several things you say sort of jump out for me.
First, it sounds like YOU may be depressed to some degree, which would be understandable given all the stuff on your plate. You're in a very difficult part of life right now, no denying it. Little kids, family illness, etc. You are facing a LOT of stuff all at once. Plus, your H recently changed jobs. It seems to me that on a scale of counting up stressors, you are WAY up there. So this "blah" feeling may just be a normal reaction to all that, rather than being solely due to your R issues. Not that that doesn't contribute.
Second, even though your H now enjoys his job, there is also a fair amount of stress that goes along with settling into a new workplace. New routines to learn, new people to get used to, etc. Yes, he's enjoying it, but it's also a very draining experience.
The staying up late to watch movies is somewhat worrisome. It may be his way of coping with the stresses he's going through, but it's not a positive habit to get into, long term. You may need to confront him specifically on that issue, especially since it robs you of time together, presumably.
Have you discussed with him specifically about how you're feeling, how you're missing the EC you once felt? Sounds to me like you're thinking something along the lines of: "Now that he has a job he enjoys, without all the high drama and deep depressions of the previous job, he doesn't seem to need me anymore." Maybe you're feeling that now that he gets more fulfillment from his work, he isn't driven to seek it with you as much. Maybe there's some truth there, but maybe it only seems that way. No doubt that the change in his job will have a large effect on the dynamics between you, because he doesn't need the same things from you he did previously, but he does still need you. He may not quite know exactly what he needs from you at this point, though, and it certainly sounds like he doesn't realize what you need from him.
I'm sure you realize that he isn't likely to magically "wake up" and start giving you what you need - you're going to have to take the lead once more. I know, it sucks (wonder how I know this?). But that's just how things are.
For some reason I'm reminded of a poem, which I can't really remember much of, but the main point of it was that the writer asked from life only a penny, and only recieved that, but had they asked far more, they would have recieved far more. Bottom line being, we are all entitled to all life has to offer, but we do have to present our voucher in order to claim it. There are always good times and hard times, and sometimes the hard times just need to be endured. But I have no doubt that you guys will get it together at some point, you just have to persist! I do hope at least some of this is somewhere in the general vicinity of the target...
