My feeling exactly, LFL. It is a point that occurred to me in the long feminism and relationships discussion. I do believe that feminism did a disservice to marriages but not in the way most people think. I think what it did was hold out an “androgynous” ideal where men and women would be equal (i.e. the same) and that we would be friends. Many women (and men) bought into this. No longer would we be stuck in our boring old traditional roles, woman as nurturer and child-rearer/man as bread-winner and protector. Everyone would be able to self-actualise and relate to each other with a close emotional bond. BULLSHIT. That is what it proved to be.
However those of us raised in the 70’s and bought into the crap and now we seem to be paying the price as reality bites in our relationships. Men are disappointed because they foresaw a wonderful life of lessened responsibility and the ability to follow their dream rather than concentrate on providing for a family. Women are disappointed because they foresaw a wonderful life of lessened responsibility and the ability to follow their dream rather than a life of domestic drudgery. And I think both men and women were sold the idea of an unfettered and fulfilling sex-life (based on efficient contraception) and Masters & Johnson or Kinsey type ideas of what a sex-life should be. And we’ve wound up blaming each other.
How much misery would there really be if no-one actually knew what a so-called *normal* sex-life was? How much misery would there be if women expected to stay at home, raise their kids, have a life in the community (relating emotionally to their kids and their close friends) and men expected to go out and earn a living, do their hobbies (relating emotionally to their buddies)?
Sorry to hijack HP!
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
