Not too much to say this morning. I did feel like the attorney kind of blew me off, but I wrote him a letter that I will include with the paperwork that I have to send him. The whole thing just seems so unreal. I keep waiting to wake up.
Having a very difficult morning, which follows a difficult evening. I try to continue to have hope, but i think that it is done. I don't think anything can help my M now.
Hope - yes, my H said he would think about what I said. But, after our conversation, he said he would call me later that day and he didn't. He called me yesterday afternoon and left me a message that was really about nothing and that was it. I mean, if he really thought about it, don't you think he would have said something? Even if it was "i thought about it/still thinking about it." Something? I think he just said that as a way to end the conversation.
I need to accept that I have lost my H for good...he isn't coming back to me. I love him and always will, but his feelings for me have changed. And I hate that this has happened, but it is clear that nothing i say or do will make him change his mind. He did this...this is what he wants. And it hurts like hell. But, i can't be in denial any longer.
What the papers say bother me tremendously. I am not sure how to go about changing what they say. Perhaps asking my H to do that is one option. The whole thing is just so painful and this is something i never thought i would have to do. But, my H has made his decision and unfortunately, he has chosen someone else. I can't say that i hope for them to be happy, b/c that would be a lie. I do want my H to be happy, but not with her. And maybe that makes me bitter and selfish - so be it. I have no good feelings towards this other woman, even though i know it is my H i should blame.
