I disagree that it's a good idea to confront him. Consider this - while he's being in a state of confusion or whatever it is that you're describing, what are the chances, honestly, that you'll be able to obtain more or less objective information from him by confronting him? You can make him feel threatened, sure; but whether it will be conducive to meaningful communication, much less to communicating correct and more or less pbjective information, is highly questionable. Can you trust him with what he is telling you right now? Will you be able to trust him with what he tells you when you confront him? Or will it confuse you more, give you false hopes or break any hopes?
I would suggest that you stop hoping that at this point there's any way to obtain valid information from your H. Detach and God forbid, don't rely on any information from him to support you or your decisions. Don't run away, just detach lovingly (as NYSurvivor puts it). DOn't try to figure out what's "unfigurable". Detach, let go and make him the one who needs to make sense of all of this.
To get through the darkest period of the night, act as if it is already morning.
The Talmud
