In order to 'fix' yourself, a person must be in a place of understanding that this ability is completely within your realm of control. Given what you've said here, and things previously discussed... while I know you would understand this concept on an intellectual level, and probably be able to effect change (or follow direction) on an intellectual level... at your root level, I see you as somone who pretty much feels she is at the whim and mercy of emotions and circumstances -- and 'life' is completely beyond her control.
Emotions and States of Being are completely and utterly governed by you. An external event may occur, and you may feel an emotion such as 'anger,' an initial impulse or reaction to an event... but the life span of that emotion and any of your subsequent actions or reactions that emotion spurs is strictly yours to control.
While emotions can be barrometers of your internal environment, it does not mean they get to govern the world of you. They don't get free rein in your life. Emotions can be tricky... for you must first determine if a felt emotion has occured first, and then is being recognized by the mind, or if the thoughts of the mind are spurring the onset of certain emotions.
That is why I asked you 'how do you know when you are happy.' Happiness, in and of itself, is not a 'starburst' emotion. Happiness isn't even an emotion. It is a state of being created from the center of calm and contentment of which you speak.
We all understand that living a life of peace is not living a life absent of conflict. Rather, peace is a 'state of being' amidst conflict. It directs and governs all personal action and reaction, regardless of outside events and circumstances. It is a means by which your mental/emotional activities work harmoniously together in the realm of mind/body/soul.
