Quote: Sorry if I missed this already but it sounds like your H is BiPolar. He appears very depressed for a time and then his mood swings to manic behavior, such as the complusive spending habits. 25 suits and 100 ties? That's not "normal".
This is *exactly* what I've thought. He's even been "diagonosed" as bipolar by one of his doctors, but rejects that diagnosis and refuses to take lithium or one of the available substitutes.
Bi-polarism (bi-polarity???) is something I've had some experience with.
My first real boyfriend (before I met X) was bi-polar. But he was mostly on the manic side of manic depression -- staying up to all hours, lots of energy, always up for anything.
In fact (and I probably shouldn't be saying this, because ex-boyfriend is now a respected pediatric neurosurgeon ) he used to smoke a ton of weed -- and I'm sure still does -- on the theory that this would help bring him down, making him able to function more "normally."
Anyway, let's just say that I manage to hook up with people with serious psychiatric problems. Maybe 'cause my mom's a psychiatrist.
Anyway, my view of X is that he's basically continually substituting one addiction for another -- that he's able to "cure" his alcoholism by becoming a bulemic. And able to "cure" his bulemia by becoming a compusive spender and/or porn addict.
You get the picture.
Anyway, on the money issue, I feel that we've made enormous progress. Though it probably isn't evident from my posts. X has gone from angrily denying that there's any problem, to admitting that he has a problem, but not wanting to fix it, to working with me to come up with a solution.
The solution, admittedly, isn't ideal, but in theory, X is supposed to give me $x,000 a month, paid electronically to my account, which I'll allocate to pay off his credit card bills.
It's not ideal because it places the responsibility for paying the bills on me. On the other hand, it puts the responsibility for giving me the money on X, instead of spending it on g-d knows what. And I'll be using *his* money to pay his debts.
I've also *persuaded* X after a million very unpleasant fights, to cut up all his credit cards, except one.
Look, I know it's far from ideal, but given the fact that I just don't trust X to pay his bills, I'm going to give it a try. And at least, from now on I'll be paying them with *his* money, not mine. So, it's a start.
Quote: You deserve better. That's my 2 cents.
Frankly, I agree with you -- at least intellectually. Putting it into practice is another thing altogether. My experiences with other relationships (even putting aside the Steve/Sarah episode) have been pretty unpleasant.
) he used to smoke a ton of weed -- and I'm sure still does -- on the theory that this would help bring him down, making him able to function more "normally." 
