Quote: Frank, I'm trying to finish reading all your threads, but I jumped ahead to your latest post just to see where you are now. Your strength and patience are amazing. You're right, you need to focus on the positives. There are many in your sitch.
Thank you for our support. Sometimes I'm not so patient.
Where do I get my strength? Well, right now I don't feel so strong (well, actually I feel better than I did a couple hours ago). But I do get strength from somewhere. I have lived through worse things and turned out ok, so I always believe that while things may not turn out the way I would like, as long as I stick with my integrity and ALWAYS do the 'right thing' how can I not be strong?
If you read some of my threads you'll see some times when I've done stuff for my wife that you'd think was crazy. But, you'd know that, at the time, it was the 'right thing' to do.
Quote: Where does your energy come from? To be dealing with your life and yet still be able to find time to help others like myself here?
Well, AmyC would say 'From God'. I would say 'from the universe'. No matter what you believe, it comes from somewhere outside of me.
I don't 'help' everybody, only those who I am drawn to. That's different than those who are drawn to ME.
You'll find this hard to believe, but I'm actually helping you very little. I'm just telling you a 'story' about one way of living your life. And I'm helping your wife. I'm helping her by using my experiences to assist YOU in helping her. And you will help her.
When I read your first posting with your sitch, I was feeling pain for her just as much as I was for you. Hers is a lot deeper. And I know what it looks like because I have seen it in my wifes eyes.
So, my energy comes because I feel your hurt (and that of your wife). As long as I see that I can help lift you and her up, I am compelled to do it. It isn't like I can stop myself. And the energy I need just seems to 'show up'. My life has always been that way.
There are some people who are like 'black holes' of negativity. I stay away from them, lest they take all the energy I have away from me. I'm sure you've met people like that.
And occasionally I have trouble holding myself together, like today was. But now I'm together again and I'll be fine. And I'll do my best to be there for you and your wife.
Quote: Frank, this woman is in the middle of the crisis of her life.
AmyC,
This post for Frank has really helped me see the bigger picture. I know that my wife wants OUR family back together. But right now she is scared and is in a crisis on deciding how will things be when we get back together. Will I ever go back to being a selfish attention seeking husband. Will I not be honest with her. I believe that my wife is just as scared as me. She doesn’t want to be responsible for breaking up our family. She has guilt.
Quote: Let the woman process. It means exactly what it sounds like. She's contemplating, she's remembering, she's considering, she's WATCHING YOU, she's grasping, she's learning, she's growing, she's getting to know herself, Frank. LET HER.
I feel that I am letting my wife do these things, but I am so afraid of the uncertainty.
Quote: Don't you understand how much better SHE (and therefore YOU) will be once she completes this cycle?
I pray that during this time, my wife can finally FORGIVE me for my mistakes and give me the clean slate that she said I need. It would joyful if we can have a clean slate and build our love from there.
OneWish's Story
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
