Oh, for the record, I told W she was a wonderful mother (she is, or at least has been so far) at least once a week if not more for the entire marriage. I often said I wished I had been lucky enough to have a mother like her. And I DO understand how much work it is. She got her appreciation and her thanks from me.
Quote: BeingMe:
Your feelings do not make you a bad person - if you didn't feel this way sometimes, you wouldn't be a normal, betrayed spouse. These feelings will definitely help you detach. Once I detached, and was actually looking forward to the D, and being in charge of my own life, my H suddenly found that he still loved me, blah, blah.
All I want is to be appreciated. Look at everything I've did for her DURING her affair-that-wasn't-really-an-affair-because-we're-divorcing.
I mean, I pay for EVERYTHING so she could do what she did. I support her so she can put what little money she earns into attempting to build a business. I support her emotionally when she is not confident in her ability to make a business work.
I EVEN WAS THERE WHEN SHE WAS IN TERRIBLE EMOTIONAL PAIN AFTER HER LIFE FELL APART, AFTER SHE REALIZED OM USED HER. Do you think that was easy? She's sitting on the bathroom floor crying and what am I supposed to think? "Oh, hon, I'm sorry the 'man' you ran to emotionally and slept with, the one you told how 'glad you were to finally be free of me', the one you laughed with when he e-mailed you and said that I was just a 'Butt Head' and you were so happy you didn't have to 'be my mother' any more.
But hey, let me pick you up off the ground and suck up the hurt so I can make YOU feel better about yourself. I can tell you that you are not a bad person, that I can forgive you. I can hold you while you cry about someone else. I can spend the time to help you heal.
I can make you feel safe.
Yeah, me. The 'butt head, mommy's boy'.
How about a 'thank you' for being there when you need me? Is that too much to ask? Apparently so.
HOW ABOUT A THANK YOU FOR ANYTHING?
I could go on and on and on. She hasn't even told me her 'relationship' as she called it, has ended. It's been over a month. Coward.
And now, I NEED somebody for ME, and the best I get out of her is 'Gee you seem a little out of sorts today'. HELLO? I'm not sure if you've been following current events but, could you take a moment and recognize that MAYBE it's because of YOU?
Amy, Spitfire, Becca and everyone else has said this: Take care of Frank. Ok. I WILL. She's out. No, I won't rub her feet, her shoulders, give her a hug if she's down or do any favors for her. She can stay in her room alone or watch TV - alone.
Scared you won't be able to make it in your business ventures? Call your dumb ass friends who give you such good support and let them lift your spirits with stupid observations and comments that are based on a complete lack of understanding of you, and the world you really live in. Morons.
I give up on her. I can't fight two battles at the same time. The battle for my self, or the battle for my marriage. I only have enough energy for one. She loses.
Even my worst friends wouldn't treat me like this.
Quote: BeingMe:
Ha! So, now I have no expectations, and it seems to work.
I have one expectation: The only person I can depend on to support me is .... ME. The only people who will appreciate me are my children.
I married a loser, probably because the sex was good. Maybe some day she will grow up. I did.
Oh Wait! She's calling me on my cell phone right now! Dare I answer it? Will she need me? Doubt it. She can leave a message.
But - she didn't. Guess it wasn't important. Probably wanted to chit chat about friend stuff! Oh well, I missed out. Bummer.
