Thanks for your kind words Becca. I needed to grow up and learn how to truly love a woman. It isn't that I have become her slave, doing everything she ever asks. It's knowing what's important and when to say no. I'll make someone a good husband some day. I still have to finish getting myself esteeem totally up there and get out of my depression. For the first 3 months I had to be strong till my cup was so empty it was negative. Now I have to truly start to build myself up, and it's still hard to do all alone. I could sure use HER support but I don't get it from anybody.
Quote: Frank, you are a dream. You really are. I read about you guys going through this and you have all turned yourselves into these storybook H's. Even when times were good my H wouldn't have gone out of his way to do something like run to the store for pop tarts. He did other things, but I've come to realize he did them for how they made HIM feel, not for how they'd make me feel.
In my case I did it for how we would BOTH feel. I feel good to do something nice for her, and she feels good knowing I DID something nice for her. I think in the 'old days' I would do it - if ASKED. But not just because she mentions 'we don't have any'. She didn't ask, I wanted to do something nice.
Quote: Your W would be blind and dumb not to see what she has right now, something most of us women would cut off an arm to be able to have. She won't let go of that so easily. You warm my heart every day! You are a wonderful, wonderful man. I wish there were more of you in the world...can we clone you?
You sound like my counselor. She is still thinking W is just slow to realize that the world is not full of good men. That and the fact that for many years I was a 'good man' who was very, very unhappy and sometimes not fun to be around. The sucky thing is that the friends she talks to the most don't talk to me or have any idea what has changed. So, they probably think her whole life is my fault still and don't point out the good in me.
The friends who DO talk to me do not talk to her much. She seems to avoid them, possibly because they are also the ones who didn't support her OM regardless of what they may or may not have thought of me. At least Counselor does put thngs in a positive perspective once a week...
Other than that, nobody is on 'my side', which is really "Our Side".
She just left a few minutes ago to go to her friends house. Everyone ins being needy here (D15, D10) and she put her hand on my cheek and asked 'Are YOU going to be ok?' to which I said "I'm fine, nothing wrong with me. Have a good time".
I'm slowly thinking that she went through that 'week of connection' with me to help her feel desirable and lovable since she got screwed over by OM. It seems like all of a sudden she got scared she was depending on ME again for her self worth and shut it all down. That has affected MY feelings and I am coming across as slightly needy.
I hope this doesn't mean she was going through a phase and is now back on course for her 'independence' and divorce mode.
