W spent all day working, doing massages. Came home around 6 pm pretty exhausted and I took her and D10 out for dinner. W was VERY happy about that. During dinner I thought she was going to fall asleep.
We got home and she asked me to rub her back, then her feet, then her knees.... So I spent about 2 hours watchng TV and doing various acts of service on her sore muscles. It was very surprising that she was so tired, yet stayed up till 10:30 watching TV with me and letting me give to her. Finally she decided she had to go to bed and told me she would 'pay me back' tomorrow because all she did was take, and not give me anything back. I kissed her on the forehead and told her that she does so much for others and that she doesn't owe me anything.
I didn't want to linger, so I got a glass of water and then said goodnite and walked slowly upstairs. As I was walking away I heard her say 'Have sweet dreams'.
So, for today the downward cycle has stopped. Now we're at 'level'.
The thing is, if she were 'single' living on her own she would come home to an empty house or apt, still tired, but nobody there to care for her like I just did. Maybe she'd have a roommate who might, but she can't do that if she want's shared custody of the kids. She'd have to come home to them, still feed them and do all the other household chores and not get any care for herself from anyone because she is ALONE.
That may not be a reason to stay married to ME, but if she thinks that the caring and nurturing I showed her tonite was something you'd get from 'a friend' she's nuts.
Well, at least I wasn't overly nice. Just very caring. I feel better now. Tomorrow I'll be more detached.
