Quote: The LD charge that "every time I touch you it leads to sex" is only true to a point. If the HD person isn't touch or sex starved they can handle a "raincheck later honey, I just wanted to touch you" but a sex-starved person will be less able to handle the "not right now." Make sense?
Karen
NiceGal, let me expand on this, if I may (my thread, so why not? )
Absolutely, I love every imaginable part and style of sex. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than spending an hour kissing and caressing. I would love to spend a week in "foreplay" (glances, kissing, caresses, activities together, etc.), leading up to a night of passion. That would turn me on to no end.
One of the things W and I discussed yesterday (briefly, we will revisit this topic a lot, I think) is that early in our M, it became apparent that we had a divergent desire for and appreciation of sex. I made the comment that I am basically "always ready", whereas she did not feel that way. This led to her backing off the other stuff like kissing, displays of affection, etc, because she felt that it would ALWAYS lead to me wanting sex, and then if we didn't, it was "HER fault". This, in turn, led to years, nay, DECADES of frustration and unhappiness. What has me feeling as optimistic right now as I do, is that we finally can talk about this issue, and begin to fully understand each other. For now, she is willing to "let me drive", and I, for my part, am willing to not "press the point" when I know she's not up to it - in short, we are both willing to be respectful of each other. BINGO!!! This, I think, will lead to HUGE advances in our R. I'm really excited about it. It seems like such a small thing, and so basic it's hard to believe it has eluded us (ME) for so long, but it's so fundamental, I'm sure it's right and real. Yes, I fully expect we will uncover other issues, but I think we are now laying a groundwork of mutual love and respect that will allow us to continue making progress.
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