How awesome for both of you that your H is feeling freed up to now really show you what he is made of. The power of truth sounds like it is really become enabling in your household.
Hurray for you GEL! You are putting the rest of us the shame! Interestingly enough, got home from the gym this morning and there was a note on the counter from H. (A few weeks ago I told him if he cleaned up our beagle's crap (literally) in the backyard, I would give him an amazing BJ). My thinking being most guys would be out there in a flash to collect the goods, lol. But not my H. Nope. But this morning, saw a note saying "Scooped the Poops. Pay up!! " With a big smiley face and everything. He has never asked for a BJ EVER so this is progress. Might have to tell him to just drop his pants when he gets home So we'll see what happens. May have some action tonight.
The only thing is that he said he just didnt' feel like it. It is weird 'cause I was sitting on sit lap facing him, and we were talkin' a little dirty to each other...I could feel him starting to "twitch"...seemed like a perfect opportunity. Maybe I just need to act upon things instead of asking.
This does add more to my thoughts that he is afraid to feel what he is feeling. Well, I dont' want to hijack your thread...I will post more on my own. Have to start a new one since Cobra and Nicegal hijacked mine!!! JK!
Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
GEL, needless to say, I'm watching your sitch with great interest...
I know you've analyzed this a lot, but if you had to pinpoint what switch flipped in your H's mind/heart/psyche/whatever to bring about this change, what do you think it would be?
Clearly your threat that "you wouldn't be having a second anniversary" scared him-- or motivated him-- into counseling, but he still hid out there.
Can you speculate on what mental/emotional process has occurred inside of him to make this huge change in his relationship to y'all's (yes that is a real word) sexual relationship?
Hey LFL that is my line No wait I say drop your drawers lol! Sorry to steal your "game" Chrissy But hey, I liked it so may just have to use it. Hope all goes well for you tonight. I will be silently eatting my Milkey ways thinking hmmm wonder what LFL is up to. Thanks. And that's a scary thought, eating chocolate and thinking about LFL in the middle of giving a blowjob All that sex and chocolate talk would make me want to put my hand down my pants Now I'm really gettin punchy Like Karen today, getting herself all worked up Lol H better get home soooooon!!!! Pass one of those Milky Ways over here would ya (while I wait).
If I had to pick a pivotal moment? I'm not sure I could narrow it down to one but I think for us it has really been a pivotal (wow) month almost already. I think the beginning though would definitely have to be the the day I found out what he'd been doing and hiding from me and the following happened:
#1 I was still there he he got home, when I told him all I wanted to do was leave.
#2 When he got home I TALKED to him, I didn't yell, I didn't scream, I didn't throw fits...and I gave him a chance to respond. I listened to what he had to say.
#3 I told him that flat-out this is it! This is his LAST chance...to step up and keep me in his life as his wife. I honestly had never drawn that line that firmly before....by my tone and the look on my face he knew without a shadow of a doubt, I was dead freakin serious.
Now take those three things and add them to what I did that 1st time when I refused to continue hiding MY sexual nature from him.....I pulled out all the stops, threw whatever inhibitions I had aside and showed him the wanton seductress inside me (without asking). I literally left the man speechless on our couch. I said things he's never heard come out of my mouth, I've done things he never experienced with me (and from what he says...with anyone)...but yet I know he had these visions in his head from what he viewed online. I showed him that what he had in his mind....he could have in reality with me. I wasn't turned off by it, I wasn't disgusted by it....."I" liked it too!!! But I think above all else...he's realized that I want that with HIM.
We still have loads of work ahead of us....but I do feel there has been a HUGE shift in our R. He even just called me a few minutes ago here at the office to just chat....didn't call for any other reason than to hear my voice, another new thing for him.
I don't know if that helps at all, but I think those were some of the real big defining moments and actions. I guess I really believe he finally understood....he was really going to lose me, and I know he does love me.
Not trying to be a PITA myself, but what I'm asking is for you to speculate what thought process HE went through... I do get the steps you went through, and the specific defining moments, but what I'm asking is not what did you do differently, but what INTERNAL REACTION did your actions set off in him...
IOW what was his internal process in response to what you did.
And if you can diagram that first sentence, I'll email you a 32-ounce margarita!
P.S. And I'm not even asking WHY it "worked," but just what excatly (in your opinion) "clicked" in him. Thanks for your patience while I scratch my head...
Ok...my best guess since I can't crawl into his brain and really know, cuz if I could well......
I really can't even hazard a guess at his thought processes so sorry, but you're going to have to live with. "Holy SH!T!!! I didn't know she had that in her....she isn't digusted by me, she really does want to have sex with ME...she told me that before, but she really meant it! She told me she could rock my world but....DAMN! She did things I thought women didn't like to do....but she did it and....she really seems to like doing it! I can't believe I didn't believe her."
Now of course this is just a guess Lil, I really can't say...but this is something I had planned on asking him after some time has passed. If I don't ask him myself, I know our C will in our next session....so I promise to post an update then.
Thanks... this is just SO interesting... My bf has a very prudish side. I think it is related to being raised by a single mom who brought guys home... I think his sensibilities were repeatedly violated at a young age. And when I come on too strong, I sometimes do feel like I'm violating him...
We watched the movie "Birth" recently with Nicole Kidman and there's a scene where she's in bed with her fiancee (maybe it's her husband, I don't remember), and the camera is shooting from straight down. You see her face up looking over his shoulder (he is face down on her, of course). The camera starts to pull back so you can see more of them, and as it pulled back to where you can see her shoulder, and then her arm across his back, he said, in alarm, "Hey, don't pull back any more! We don't want to see that!" I said, "Well *I* want to see it!" When the camera had pulled all the way back, all you could see was his nude back; she was still fully covered. It seemed an odd reaction from a 55-year old man.
" With a big smiley face and everything. He has never asked for a BJ EVER so this is progress. 
JK!
