Personally, I'm not all that fond of that position myself because as you said....you kind of feel alone up there LOL....but I usually manage to ummmm...occupy myself?
BTW...my H thanked me again yesterday when I got home from the office for "last night", and even told me that someone "at work" told him BJ's are commonly referred to among the "younger crowd" as goodnight kisses. I haven't heard that one before but I told him I'd be happy to use that terminology if he was more comfortable with it, just as long as we both knew what I meant when I said it to him, or he said it to me.
Naturally after everything I've gone through lately when he said that to me my mind went "yeah sure, the guys at work said that's what the kids are calling it." Now, it's possible someone at work did say that, but it's also possible someone he chatted with online referred to it that way. That's what happenes when you shatter trust in an R, everything said is suspect and runs through my BS-ometer.
BUUUUUUT, I digress....he did freely talk about it with me, and in fact was the one to initiate the conversation; it obviously made a big impression on him.
Also....still no suspicious activity on the computer and no suspicious activity on the cell phone since the A-Bomb.
Oh & Fran...I am so bummed but because of everything going on right now I didn't feel right taking my trip with my friend next month to London without my H. I hated having to cancel it...but something tells me it's not going anywhere anytime soon.
I'm sorry you had to cacel your trip but I think it was a wise decision. It doesn't have to do with not trusting your H but it has everything to do with continuing the positive momentum.
Ditto on the sitting on H's face. I also feel kinda alone and disconnected up there and not free to enjoy myself due to not wanting to smother the guy! However, he seems to enjoy it so we do it sometimes or 69. Overall, I prefer one at a time oral - both the giving and receiving.
Actually...at the time it had a great deal to do with not trusting my H. That was around the time I made the comment about him having to get ok with us being siamese twins....and well, he wouldn't have been able to take the time to go with us.
However...it does also have to do with the fact that I recognize that we need to be doing things together....period....for quite some time. Just the other night I made the comment to him that I'm no longer going to be "Ok" with us having anniversaries, birthdays, vacations....etc where there is absolutely no intimate contact, no sex.....when we have made the time to be alone and don't have our son in the same room with us. Yes guys, I didn't have sex on my honeymoon, granted I was 7mo pregnant but still....also didn't have it on my 1st or 2nd anniversary. No more. Not happening anymore. We'll be having our 3rd in May.....that pattern better be broken.
Sometimes, I just can't help myself. This discussion reminds me of one of my stupid/cheesy pickup lines from high school days: Wanna play carnival? Sit on my face and I'll guess your weight.
Or..."you know your girlfriend's fat when she sits on your face and you can't hear your stereo."
Heck, when I was in marching band, we drummers had a drum-fill that we called "SOMF" for "sit on my face." It was just four beats in quick succession, and it sounded like "diddley-bump." We'd see a girl walk by, look at each other, and say, "diddley-bump."
Gel, First off, I am so happy for you that you turned such a negative finding and found some way to keep your marriage intact. The way you are handling it has been an inspiration to all of us and we appreciate your sharing all the updates and details.
That said, for us HD bunch, it is almost difficult to hear. You have been hiding a side to yourself for years from your husband, a side that definately needs to be taken care of. Finally you have decided that you will not continue to hide that side of yourself and you are making sure your husband knows it. And now he is reaping the benefits.
But I know that I too, have to hide that side of myeself. For years I have had to. I have attempted to bring it out in the past only to be called "selfish", "inconsiderate to her feelings of not being interested", "unrespectful to her as a woman", "living in an unrealistic fantasy world", and "inappropriatly pushy" as I attempt to communicate my wants and desires. As she says "Life is about learning to control ourselves and our desires and keeping our fantasy worlds just that... fantasy.. to ourselves".
And so, I take that side of me, that so desperately wants to come out and play, and hide him away.
But thank you, for showing us that IT IS ATLEAST POSSIBLE to someday show that side. I wish the circumstances were better in how this change happened and always hate to hear of people who are hurt or suffering. But so far you have come out with both your marriage intact and a scenerio where you don't have to keep hiding. I think for so many of us, that is a wonderful thought. So keep up the work, patience and love, and continue to let us know what is happening. Those of us still hiding are living vicariously through you.. and enjoying it!
Stand up for yourself. Your wife's comments are exactly what I have been ranting about lately. They don't make you feel good, the are insensitive to you and they are unwarranted. Rattle the cage.
Yes I was planning on taking my best friend over for a couple of weeks for her college graduation gift. My H works for American Airlines and well....lets just say it wouldn't cost us much to fly 1st class.
Several years ago I had the opportunity to spend a little over 2-months there while I was in school (my parents are lucky I came home)....and then occasionally travel over to Cardiff every now and then on work.
I was actually kind of pissed at my H when I decided to cancel my trip as I was soooo looking forward to it, but I know it's the right thing to do. We need to be concentrating on us, so this isn't the time for me to take a "girls vacation"....if there is any vacationing going on it needs to be he and I doing it. There will be other opportunities
Ok...for those of you living vicariously through me at the moment...you'll enjoy this. Some of you...are gonna hate me for this though
We experienced a 1st in the GEL household last night. We ML 2x in one night....not just in one week or one month, but one night!!!! With a new position thrown in to boot! For once when we ML it didn't last just 20 minutes (in total) it was more like an hour or 90 minutes, something like that....and it wasn't rushed, we just took our time and had fun.
Normally my H loses his erection very quickly after he O's but not last night....and no, he hadn't taken anything either, last night he had absolutely no problem getting and maintaining one. This is something I have never experienced with him during our entire R, need I say....I really enjoyed it!!!!
