I'm thinking that doing that might only work if she were really someone with a stronger SD, like myself. She'd have to be supressing something herself (I think) for that to work....and let me tell ya, it ain't worth the pain it causes either
Okay, I'm obviously going about this all wrong. Instead of being assertive, yet gentle; strong, yet caring; funny, yet sensitive; and doing lots of chores around the house, cooking dinners for my W, being patient, etc., I need to change course.
I'm going to go to adultfriendfinder.com, set up an account, correspond with local women, and then leave it open on my web browswer for my W to find.
Within a couple of weeks, I'll be getting BJ's while watching the tube.
If the man doesn't farking worship the ground you walk on, GEL, he's certifiably insane.
Hairdog, last seen muttering "lucky ba$tard" under his breath.
I'm glad to see you are keeping your head on straight through this whole mess. I have to give you credit for making lemonade out of lemons. If something good can come out of pain, then all the better. I can understand that perspective personally. Just keep in mind what I think Cobra(?) was getting at in a previous thread. Don't let the fantasy SL (even between the two of you) overtake the need for true intimacy. Anyone can have hot sex, but being intimate with your partner is much harder work and something that simply takes time. You need to rebuild the trust together and keep talking openly. (with hot sex thrown in for good measure).
I hesitate sometimes to post some of the things I have been...but I do try not to get too explicit. Don't want anyone else suffering unnecessarily.
Right now the only thing I feel I can do are the things I have control over....and of course that's my own behavior. For too long I've allowed that part of me to be smothered. I believe if my H is going to get past his issues....he's going to have to also accept me for who I am, SD and all.
So perhaps if I just let loose he'll begin to see that what he'd been hiding from me isn't so odd/strange/disgusting/unattainable afterall. Time will tell.
Oh...I also told him I have come to a decision on how to handle his snoring so that it will benefit me. Since he vibrates the bed so much and keeps me awake I told him from now on.....I'm just going to sit on his face and reap the benefits....I'm awake anyway aren't I? It'll dull the noise....and my vibrator won't run out of batteries!
He just laughed at me. But now at least he genuinely laughs...and doesn't clam up.
I totally agree with you and Cobra on the "intimacy" issue....which is one reason he is required to look at me, make eye contact with me and not pay attention to anything else. Eye contact during any type of sex is a very intimate thing, it's very difficult (not impossible mind you) to fantasize about someone/something else...when you are looking your partner in the eyes.
It's only that way because I'm refusing to suppress that side of myself any longer. He's going to have to learn to deal with me...as I am.
Damn!! Poor soul!! Now, if you could just find a way to flatten out the back of your head so he has a place to set his beer, while watching the tube and getting a BJ, he would really be in heaven!
I agree to a point there GEL, but I really mean intimately outside the bedroom. For example, when I dated OM, we had very "intimate" sex by your definition if I simply went on being able to look into each others eyes. We did this all the time, even during O, which can be difficult. But outside the bedroom, I'd say our intimacy was barely there. It is difficult to maintain a R, much less a M, without intimacy of communication. I am truly happy to see your H is expressing himself more in the bedroom but I bet it will be much harder for him to open up to what he's really thinking, feeling, outside of the bedroom. His history will be hard to overcome. But you are on your way so keep it up.
