Ya know Gel, darn that Schnarch - he knows what he is talking about. This reminds me of that whole thing about "wall socket sex" and "f*cking" - that many people have trouble being truly "seen" during sex especially by the one peson who they really love. It isn't a lack of love for the partner but rather the presence of that love that makes it difficult for them to really show themselves sexually.
I was actually joking about the kink. I doubt my H has any truly kinky desires (at least ones he would actually want to try ) but that raw sexuality is something that I have no doubt he is both interested in and hides from. I see enough hints of it to know that he likes it but yet he will sidestep efforts that I make to introduce that element to our sl. It happens once in a while by sheer accident. I am still emotionally smarting from the time I gave him a container of hot fudge all wrapped up with a bow (on our anniversary) and told him that there was whipped cream in the fridge and he professed to be "tired" that night and the fudge is still in his dresser drawer, the whipped cream was long since used on ice cream. At the time I thought this was a low stress way to introduce novelty that might even lead to some teasing and then to some rawer stuff later. It didn't.
