I think there is something to what you say (yes, I'm actually agreeing with you ).
I'm certainly not excusing his behavior in the past, he knew what he was doing would crush me if/when I found out. He knew I was begging for attention from him....and made a concious choice to meet his needs in a different manner. Why? Because I believe as you said...he thought what he wanted would disgust/repel me. I also think in his mind his perception of the "good wife/mother" simply doesn't behave like the women he viewed on the internet. They just don't do those things. Would that keep him from wanting that? No
He has A LOT of work to do when it comes to intimacy and letting me close to him. The next few weeks/months are going to be interesting. Like you said though, maybe....just maybe if nothing else a few bricks have been knocked down from his wall. That's sad though, I may have busted down some of his wall, but he's built a pretty good one in me. It's going to take a long time for me to feel secure in this R again.
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