This has been a very interesting thread. Even Cemar opened up and made some good comments. I have to agree with a little of what everyone said through out the posts.
I don't think the difference is gender specific in why a person overrides there sexual desires or how they handle them. I actually think you answered your own questions through out your post and responses.
for an urge to mbate is not the same as an urge to ML, for many many reasons
Take this out of context of male vs female LDness and just apply it all around.
It is not so much a lack of desire to not MB or have a orgasm or such it is a lack of desire to make love. And there is a billion reasons a person can feel this way IMO. Not all of them reflect on to there partners. Sometimes with myself I just don't want to go through all the effort of having sex when I can get myself to the O much faster by myself. Sort of like cutting to the chase/eatting the steak with out the potatoes ect.
But what I find facinating about this thread is that stero type that men cannot do without sex. That sex leads and controls them more then any other emotion and no one with the exception of GGB indicated that is not the always the truth. That there other emotions can and do override there sexual desire the same as it does in a woman. So maybe the males even believe in the stero type.
On another note.
You guys are talking about porn and fantasy. As we all know I had a problem with the fact my H viewed porn and denied it and was condensending towards others about doing the same. But I do see some of what this untouchable thing is that you guys are now speaking about.
Fantasy (including porn) is nothing but raw desire. It is not about respectablity or emotions or love or any of the baggage making love contains with our spouses. It contains none of the EC or devotion we give to our spouses. It is not something that makes us disrespect or spouses the next day if acted out via live in the bedroom. ie..Lets face it most guys fantasies include two woman but they don't want there spouse to be with another woman so if fantasy was acted out it could cause both spouses to lose respect for the other.
This makes this element of our sexual desire untouchable in real life. We either surpress this want for unencumbered sexual release or we live it via fantasy.
I don't find anything wrong in that. I think when it starts taking away from ones spouse it can be problematic. When it becomes a lie between one and there spouse it becomes a issue. Causing a downward spiral in alot of areas.
