Out of curiosity. Wouldn't you still need to leave the kids for a weekend in the fall? What would change in those few months do you think? Why does he have such a problem leaving the children for a few hours or the weekend...so you two can have time together?
So does not being available extend to location/time instead of just who? There are times where you just aren't available because the time/place is inappropriate. What happens if his juices get going then, or do they? See, you need to get inside his head and vice-versa for it to become mind-blowing.
Hey, BTW, I like the hypothetical question thing you said he does to open you up. I'll have to try that some.
I'm bummed to hear that he isn't ready to leave the kids for a weekend for your R. Oh well. Any luck with that soulmate book? I haven't had much of a chance to read it beyond the first chapter or so yet. I have been working on listening to MrsGGB better though.
Lassie, Cause the baby would be older. She is not an easy little one to take care of, some kids are, some aren't, kwim.
He hates.....I mean hates.....to burden anyone, for any reason. If he was bleeding to death and you walked along and put a tourniquet on him, he'd say "leave it, do NOT get blood on your clothes...I mean it...leave it alone!"
He's just that way. Only another person who is funny about imposing (cough<mrsnop>cough) could understand.
Sometimes I think that to my H behaviors like dressing sexy, making sexy jokes, touching him in a seductive way etc...constitute a kind of "nagging." Let me qualify this and say that I in no way, "hang" on him because that IS nagging. However, when he is feeling uninterested - he hates any reminders that I might have needs or desires.
My perception of my H is that he falls somewhere between a Mr. Gel and a Mr. HP. When all is well, the planets are aligned, he has a regular sex drive. He may still mb then too but he has sex with me a couple of times/week. When all is not well, he can go without and the longer he goes without the less he cares. I'll bet he even quits mbing or does it less during those times. Perhaps I will finally find out - we are having lunch on Thursday and I am going to steer him toward having lunch at a local park or in the car for privacy reasons. Wish me luck.
Ok...I understand about people who don't want to impose. My grandmother is that way....to the point where she's a real pain in the azz about it. In her case she takes it to the point where it's martyrdom though.
A really fussy babe though, that I can understand as a parent. I'd tell you just to bring the girls up here, we'd all have a blast in the pool and with the horses. My H may be a real jerk towards me sometimes but he's absolutely great with kids and they love him! So...just so ya know, the offer is open.
Oh garsh, GGB, he *hates* any attempt to get him revved up if the time/place isn't appropriate. It actually makes him mad! There were times when I would send him mildly suggestive emails at work (last night was fun, can't wait to see you tonight!) and he'd get irate.
He's said to me, Why would you do that?, when I tried to get a little somethin somethin going at an inappropriate time.
yeah I remembered you saying that before right after I hit the continue button. Like I said, you need to get inside his head (GGB sounding like a broken record here).
The behavior you just described (dressing sexy, making sexy jokes, touching him in a seductive way etc...constitute a kind of "nagging.") are things that I would do...that like you said constituted "nagging"....and because he would give me the impression that I was pressuring him, I stopped doing those things. BUT....that's exactly the type of behavior he was looking for online.
He couldn't reconcile his "sexual fantasy" with his wife and mother of his son.
Lass, She's not necessarily fussy, though she fusses more than my other two did; she is a climber! She is up on the kitchen counters, the stove (yeah I know), the washer and dryer, the toilet, etc etc. It's hard to keep up with her and it would be extremely frustrating unless you've recently had a kid like that and are used to it.
The other day I was getting clothes out of the dryer and heard breaking glass. She was up on the counters, throwing dishes out of the cabinets. Oy!
Lass, Fwiw, I don't think his online behavior has anything to do with you. Nothing. It seems to me that he has a compulsion..addiction..whatever..for hard core stuff and doesn't yet realize that this is incompatible with M. I think he will come to many painful and necessary realizations with counseling and I'm praying that he will be able to fashion a more balanced view of sexuality. Hang in there, lady!
I agree with you girls, btw, about the 'sexy' behavior. None of my behavior is overtly or inyerface sexy. It's all subtle but, shoot, these guys are smart...they know when they are being nagged even if the 'nagging' is something that most guys would give their eye teeth for. No one likes to be constantly coming up short and I'm sure it reminds him that he isn't keeping up. Which is NOT my intention!
