HP, I'm not convinced that T is as strong as you make it out to be. I know from my own experience, depending on my current state of mind, I can be in a phase of "needing" the physical release of more than once a day, and there are other times I can go a whole month or more without even thinking about it much less MB'ing. I'm quite sure it isn't that my T is fluctuating, rather it is mental stuff going on that sets aside the physical desire. Even when the physical desire is there, there can be a formidable hump to get over to go through the trouble of initiating, to the point where it can be easier to either do nothing or MB rather than initiating ML with W. When there is a close emotional connection, that barrier to initiating is much lower and therefore easier to cross. When the emotional connection is not there, the barrier can look downright daunting, especially if there is a history of mostly getting shot down crossing the barrier. So I think the T provides a little bit of a physical itch, but in my experience it alone doesn't make a man become Tarzan. The itch isn't all that hard to ignore, especially if I make it through the first 4 or 5 days without another O. It is more like a visit to the beach on a warm day, where you can feel the attraction to go swimming, but that attraction can be overridden by other factors fairly easily. In my own sitch, I find that other factors play a much bigger part in whether I get horny or not (not going to say that the T doesn't push that horniness along once it is triggered though). The mind is still the biggest and most important sex organ.
I think in many of the LD cases, both F and M, there are often underlying issues with not feeling comfortable with initiating, ie acting on their urges. Even on the HD side of the relationship, you might find yourself less gung-ho on ML if your S initiated when you were not in the mood (I know now that I get that way), and if you are getting enough to satisfy your needs you may be inclined to take a raincheck.
OK, so I am rambling a bit. What I guess I'm trying to say is that I think a larger factor than the hormones, is the comfort level the LD has with initiating, and with his or her own sexuality. There are a ton of societal and FOO influences on how one perceives sex, including the madonna/whore thing, hangups with thinking sex is dirty, or that good girls don't or that it is unholy or whatnot. These influences, IMHO are much much stronger than the hormones in either gender. How many of you HD folks think sex is dirty or improper or goes against your religion or somehow degrades you? Nope, didn't think there were many of you. IMHO, the hormones give us a little push, but it is those other factors that really determine our drive, and it is the lack of getting needs met that cause us pain or cause people to seek getting the needs met outside of the R. Regardless of the need though, I think it all boils down to emotional needs, just manifested in different ways.
