RE HP How would the HDH's feel if they discovered their "I hate sex" wives were having a jolly good time by themselves and their anti-sex rhetoric only applied to sex with THEM
In my case, I believed LDW did not like sex that much and took the word of BB when she said she did not feel like MBing. If I would have dicsovered she had a hi-old-time MBing, that would have hurt. It would have felt like I was not a skilled lover and I also would have felt something was not exactly right with her.
I can see how some women don't want the groping, slobbering, weight of another male person in their space. I think there are some women that want a dainty acting man. I guess I see how some lesbians feel about some men, too fast, too rough, (normal things to most women (Karen1 posted she wanted to be treated like a piece of meat and other women said their H was too timid)) but maybe what I think is all wrong.
After reading the threads for a while, I saw several posts from women that said they did not like sex with their H but did like it with the OM. That was a shift in the way I thought about LDW's.
Yes, I can see it. Some guys feel the same way (LD for the W but HD for someone else w/o baggage). HP do you want to explore this idea along the lines of why some guys seem to be LD?
their anti-sex rhetoric only applied to sex with THEM,( the H.) Well, that was where I was at in my mind. Did BB like sex, but not with me. I don't know but I suspect she does not like sex much. I had to explore that opition in my mind. I even hinted to this line of thinking with BB.
The next question you should put on your list is "does she like the attention w/o the sex"? I know that is a big yes when it comes to BB. (sorry for personalizing it but I can only speek from my limited experiences.)
Back to the their anti-sex rhetoric only applied to sex with THEM (the H) This is where I feel rejected, slightly angry, also where I want to look at what I am doing wrong, what have I failed doing correctly, feel I have not had the right clues as to what she wanted, (I get a lot of "I don't knows")do we have unsolvable problems IE two different people, what needs to change, what will work, or is it time forget about improving the sexual satisfaction quotent (in my case few solutions due to advanced aging/medical limitations), or to move on.
Just like other situations and what causes or solves desire differences, no easy solutions.
They've just cut the wives completely out of it. HP, that is a bummer way to feel. I can see how this really makes you feel like things are out of wack in the M/F role of your R.
The bigest thing I see wrong with your statement is completely cut out is an over statement. I can see how you feel that way. In FF's case this was true. In your case and GEL's you were not "cut out" completely IRL, but the quality and frequency was way short of what you wanted and expected.
