I've been mulling this one over quite a bit and really wondering whether my H is actually "LD." It occurs to me that as long as the LD isn't caused by a medical condition (severely low hormones in men or women, ed in men or dysparunea in women) then the LD is situational whether it is in a man or woman. It can be due to severe psychological issues from the past or present or more garden variety reasons for not having much sexual desire. The truth is that the LD is situational when it isn't medical and that in a different situation the person would feel their desire more readily.
I think the difference in LD men or women is in how men and women are wired. Women tend to be more relational so you are much less likely to find women doing lots of solitary sexual activities like viewing porn on the net. They may sublimate their sexual needs in other ways - collecting pets, doing lots of church activities, doing lots of Mom things, having many female friends etc... Sometimes, a little less often than men, they will have affairs.
Men who are situationally LD will have that biological need arise and work around the "situation" that makes them LD by mb through a variety of means or have an affair thereby negating the situation.
Cemar - how is it that there are HD women despite hormonal fluctuations etc...? Number one, the relational aspect has something to do with it. More important though is why is ANYONE HD (especially if their SO is LD and they aren't going to be getting as much as they want and they know it). I think the answer is similar to discussions of psychological resilience. Some people can go through horrible things and still be psychologically ok, others are permanently damages. Some people can have high stress lives but still be happy, others get depressed. Some people have more sexual resilience than others. Some people's sexuality is less "state dependent" than others. Some people take note of, enjoy, identify with, care about their sexuality more than others. I think that it is like personality differences. Some people are resilient with respect to their faith - others find their faith failing easily. The degree to which desire increases/decreases or stays fairly steady is just an individual difference.
