You seem to be doing great. It is hard to find advice for someone "as together" as you are. I just keep reading and learning so if I get a chance one day, I'll do more right than wrong.
Along with the gifting being a love language, have you read the Mars-Venus book. You seen to have a lot of the concepts happening but I wasn't sure if that was instinct or if you read the book. If you haven't it might help you to understand why some things you are doing really work well. And maybe why the things you are avoiding, should be. Maybe put some perspective on what is working already. Maybe pick up more points.
